3 Myths About Getting Kids to Listen
(And What Actually Works)
Getting kids to listen can feel like an endless cycle of repeating yourself, raising your voice, and feeling like you’re not being heard. Many parents share the frustration of giving simple instructions only to be met with blank stares or complete distraction. So, what gives?
The truth is, there are a lot of misconceptions around what “good listening” looks like for kids. We’re often led to believe that children should follow adult-style listening patterns, like sitting still, making eye contact, and responding right away. But children’s minds work a bit differently—and understanding how they actually listen can make a huge difference.
Let’s bust three common myths about kids and listening, and explore some insights that will help you get your child to tune in without power struggles or endless repetition.
Myth #1: Kids Need to Sit Still to Pay Attention
When kids fidget or move around, it’s easy to think they’re distracted and not fully listening. But here’s the truth: for many children, movement can actually help them focus. Some kids—especially younger ones—process information better when they’re allowed to move, doodle, or engage in quiet activities. Sitting perfectly still doesn’t always mean they’re more attentive; in fact, it may even limit how well they’re able to absorb what we’re saying.
What Works Instead: If your child needs to fidget, try giving them something to hold or doodle on. You may find they’re better able to listen and understand when they’re allowed a little flexibility.
Myth #2: Immediate Responses Show Good Listening
When kids don’t respond right away, it can feel like they’re ignoring us on purpose. But children—especially young ones—often need extra time to process instructions. Expecting an immediate response can lead to frustration for both you and your child and may actually hinder their ability to absorb the information.
What Works Instead: Give your child a few moments to absorb your words before repeating or clarifying. This simple pause shows respect for their processing speed and encourages them to listen thoughtfully instead of reactively.
Myth #3: Kids Learn to Listen by Focusing on Words Alone
One of the biggest misconceptions about listening is that children need to focus only on words to understand what’s being asked of them. But kids are natural visual and hands-on learners—especially at a young age. Relying solely on verbal directions can sometimes make it harder for them to retain instructions. Adding visual cues or simple gestures often helps make directions clearer and more memorable.
For example, using a hand motion when you say “stop” or “come here” can strengthen the message, helping your child understand and remember more easily. Visual reinforcement can be incredibly effective in getting kids to tune in, without needing to repeat instructions.
What Works Instead: Try combining a simple visual cue or gesture with your words. You may notice that these cues help your child connect more with the message you’re trying to convey.
Curious About More Myths and What Really Works?
These three myths are just the beginning. When it comes to getting kids to listen, there’s a lot more than meets the eye. In my upcoming “Getting Kids to Listen” webinar, we’ll be covering the 14 biggest reasons kids don’t listen and diving into practical techniques that help make listening easier and more cooperative for everyone.
In the webinar, we’ll tackle real-life challenges like:
- How to reduce repeating yourself and still get results
- Techniques to help your child feel connected and ready to cooperate
- Solutions for handling the most frustrating listening struggles
Plus, when you sign up for the webinar, you’ll receive a free guide, “14 Reasons Why Your Child Isn’t Listening,” packed with actionable tips to help you better understand what’s really going on when kids don’t seem to hear us.
Ready to learn what really works? Reserve Your Spot Here
